Wysteria
by chahana-miyuki
Summary: Kasumi Takemura, a Level C vampire, joins Cross Academy to escape the Kitagaki household where she is a servant. How will she fit into the complex web of relationships in the Night Class? And can her own memories help dull the pain of Zero's? Zero X OC (sorry)
1. Cross Academy

**Hi guys, it's miyuki here! I've been doing some editing of this chapter (read: I've rewritten the whole thing =w=), so I'm sorry if you hate the changes…I'm much happier with this version, personally, but you guys are my readers, so you get the final vote!**

**Obvious disclaimer, I don't own Vampire Knight because a) I'm writing on FanFiction and b) Kaname X Seiren is not canon (this is my newest ship and I love it ^^).**

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Such a huge, huge school. I stared up at Cross Academy and it stared back down at me. Turrets soared so high it looked as though they could drape the clouds around their shoulders as scarves. Not that there were many clouds today – brilliant sunshine illuminated the cherry blossom petals swirling to the floor, the flowers dancing till they died.

I sighed. The school was vast and I was small and insignificant and alone.

_And it's not going to get any better when I start classes, because no one is going to even think of being friends with me._

I picked up my bag and pushed the high gate open. It swung easily, silently, and I slipped through. I was a stranger, and it felt better if I left things as they were as much as possible. Better if I made no sound. Better if I tried to blend in with the background.

With every step towards the Chairman's office, to which I'd been directed by the grounds staff, the tension rose in my stomach until I thought I was going to be sick. I tapped the knocker against the door several times. It stuttered in my grip, beating as irregularly as my heart was.

_I don't want to do this! I don't want to do this! Amaya, I promised you I wouldn't miss home too much, but I was never good at keeping promises, was I?_

The door was pulled open. The space inside was dark and the tall boy who'd opened the door matched it perfectly, black uniform and even blacker scowl. He opened the door wider to let me in.

"Thank you." My voice was a whisper as I stepped over the threshold. I'd never been to school before and the first person I'd met was looking at me with an air of such powerful dislike and distrust that I felt like crying.

_Not so much of a surprise though, is it?_

The boy looked at me then, after I'd spoken, his brows raised, dusky purple eyes widening for a split-second. But then he shook his head, silver hair spilling across his handsome face as he looked away and strode down the dark corridor. I followed him, heart heavy.

He opened a door into a sunlit office. I entered after him. My pulse was hammering so much from nerves that soon even humans would be able to hear it. _No, no, no…even though I wanted to escape the Kitagaki household, this is not the place to go!_

Illuminated by the spring sun was a man with a ponytail, sitting behind the desk in front of the windows. He looked up. "Ah! Kasumi Takemura, isn't it?" He stood up and came over to me. "You must have had a long drive to get here; would you like a drink?"

I shook my head. "No, thank you." My legs felt as though all the blood had been drained from them, and putting anything in my stomach would certainly have resulted in a rather disgusting carpet decoration.

"Well, welcome to Cross Academy! I am the Chairman, Kaien Cross. As you know, this school aims to promote harmony between humans and vampires such as yourself. To protect the human students, however, we have a two-class system. The Day Class are all human and are educated during the day. The Night Class is the vampire class and receives its tuition at night," the Chairman explained. I nodded weakly.

"Now, all of the Night Class are aristocratic vampires except for two, Yuuki and Kaname Kuran, who are Purebloods. They rule the Night Class as dorm presidents."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the silver-haired boy's mouth tighten at the mention of the Purebloods' names. His whole body seemed to stiffen and he flicked his gaze sideways out of the window. Personally, I was feeling even sicker – the butterflies in my stomach were hyperventilating. _Purebloods? A whole class of aristocrats, and then the Kurans on top of that? Oh God!_

"Kasumi? Kasumi? Are you alright?" The Chairman was waving a hand in front of my face. "You look very pale. Do you want to sit down?"

I nodded and sank into a chair. "Kiryuu, can you get some water please?" The Chairman looked at the silver-haired boy – Kiryuu.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I said faintly. "I think I might be sick."

A smile seemed to flicker across Kiryuu's face. I would have frowned but my churning stomach made all other thoughts disappear.

The Chairman patted my shoulder. "Don't worry, Kasumi, the Night Class are all very friendly."

Kiryuu lifted an eyebrow, and I felt I had someone on my wavelength in the room.

"Now, in the school, we have Guardians, also known as the Disciplinary Committee. They patrol the Academy and ensure that the Classes are staying where they're supposed to be. The Night Class must stay in the Moon Dormitory except for walking to and from lessons. This rule is strictly enforced, Kasumi. Stay within the Moon Dormitory boundaries, please. We don't need anyone being bitten. It goes without saying, of course, that you must not take blood from anyone."

That statement was almost humorous to someone like me. _You don't have to worry about that, Kaien. I used to be human. I have three human little sisters. And someone taking blood from you without your consent...well, I know all about that. It's not something I'd want anyone else to go through, ever._

I bit my cheek in an attempt to exorcise the memories, to vanquish the ghosts of strangers' lips against my neck, to sooth the cold burn of fangs piercing my skin. I shook my hair across my face and attempted to concentrate on Kaien's words.

"Kasumi, are you there? Good, okay. Well, the Day Class students are not allowed anywhere near the Moon Dormitories and must stay inside after dark. This rule is more troublesome for the Guardians, as Day Class girls are rather…_infatuated_ with the Night Class."

Kiryuu rolled his eyes slightly.

"At the moment, only Zero Kiryuu is a Guardian," the Chairman said, and I was focusing less on Kaien as he spoke ("Please listen to Kiryuu – he is equipped to – aha, _deal_ with any vampires who disobey the rules.") than the expression of pain on Zero's face, the slight tilt of his head backwards, the tightening of his mouth, the shutting of his eyes. There was great hurt concealed beneath that brooding, indifferent exterior.

_Why, Zero? What have they done to you? Why are these things so painful for you?_

"So, time for the tour!" The Chairman bounced across to the door. I stood shakily, picking up my bag again and walked to the doorway. Zero remained leaning against the wall. Continued to stare out of the window. I turned, closed the door quietly and followed Kaien.

The Chairman led me through a maze of corridors and courtyards, and there were barely words to do the place justice. Swirling rose stems, thorns and leaves and flowers, grew across high, vaulted ceilings. Towering arched windows. Sunlight falling across the floor like golden tresses. Sweeping staircases like brushstrokes. Countless fountains burbled in countless courtyards. Flowerbeds like ruffs, fur of green foliage and accents of vivid blossoms.

_I sure hope that the Night Class all have their classes in the same room, because otherwise I will spend all night trying to _find_ the classroom!_

"And this is the Moon Dormitory," proclaimed the Chairman, opening another tall wrought-iron gate. We passed through a large archway and then a huge building rose up in front of us, the afternoon sunlight stroking its marble face.

He led me up the steps and opened the door. I stepped into a vast entrance hallway. A balcony ran along the back wall, with twin staircases leading up to it. The curtains were all closed to protect the nobles' sensitive skin from the sunshine. In front of me were a coffee table and several sofas, and dotted around the room were vampires.

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**So, how was that? Thanks very much for reading, and I'd really appreciate any feedback if you've got time – I don't care if you flame it so long as you tell me why ^_^**

**I'm sorry if Kaien seems out of character in this chapter O.o He's kind of hard to write because he's so fatherly and overly cutesy with Zero and Yuuki normally, but I don't know how he'd react with another random vampire (aka: Kasumi ^^), so I tried…let me know what you think?**

**And also sorry for Kaien's schpiel about the two classes and the Guardians and everything, but I thought it would only be natural that he'd explain that to a new student (so you guys get more boring stuff! Yay!).**

**Oh, and if you're interested, Kasumi's name in kanji is 霞****, which means 'fog'. Her surname, Takemura, is 竹村****, which means 'bamboo village'. Because you wanted to know ^-^**

**Wow...long author's note is long, I guess XD Thanks again for reading, I love you for it! /hugs**

**~miyuki**


	2. Night Class

**Hey guys! Firstly, I owe you guys a huge apology. I couldn't ship it if it was an actual object because I'd be broke on the postage costs. I haven't updated this fic for literally months and I suck and I'm sorry. I hope this chapter makes up for it ^^ **

**I don't own Vampire Knight, all that stuff. And sorry if anyone is OOC - there's a reason some of the dialogue is pretty short xD**

**Enjoy~**

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The Night Class. Aristocrats. Purebloods.

_Oh God. This was such a colossal mistake._

I thought I'd felt sick in Kaien's office. Now I knew the true meaning of 'feeling sick with nerves'. I was lightheaded. There was almost an out-of-body element to standing in front of the imposing double doors next to the Chairman with every eye cast our way.

The Chairman spoke. "Good afternoon, Night Class. You were informed that a new student would be joining us; she has now arrived. This is Kasumi Takemura."

_'Look strong', Mother said. Don't look down, Kasumi, don't look down!_ All I wanted to do was look at the floor, bore a hole in it and disappear. Never to return to this place that I shouldn't have come to. The place where my life could well have been in danger if it was discovered that I was a blood servant.

Instead, I managed to look up a little, at the vampires at the coffee table. Two blonde boys, one reading, one paused in the action of drinking from a wineglass. The boy drinking had unruly fair hair and bright blue eyes. The boy reading put a bookmark in his page and looked up, green eyes flicking into my brown ones.

Recognition slammed into me like a galloping horse. I couldn't breathe for shock.

_Takuma…Ichijou Takuma._

Ichijou's eyebrow shot up, and then he smiled. So he remembered me. I wasn't that invisible.

Another thought struck me as the silence stretched out and I was further evaluated. _What if he tells everyone? Oh God, I'm worse than dead! A blood servant turned vampire at a school for aristocrats...I never thought that Takuma would be here. I had thought I could keep my own secrets, but if Takuma spills them…_

I shook my head at him, very, very slightly. He frowned for a second. I shook my head again, a strand of hair fluttering with the motion. 'Please,' I mouthed. _Please, Takuma, please!_

His eyes widened with understanding and he nodded with another small smile. I relaxed slightly. _You'd better stay silent, Takuma. I'm already nothing. I don't need to find out what's below that._

A soft footstep on the balcony attracted my attention. A tall boy stood by a smaller girl, both with deep mahogany hair and large dark eyes. "Thank you, Chairman. Miss Takemura will be safe here."

"Thank you, Kaname," Kaien said formally before patting my head and leaving. I blushed a little, embarrassed at his fatherly demeanour.

_Hang on a minute – Kaname? As in, Kaname Kuran? So that girl is his sister, Yuuki…what are you doing, Kasumi? You need to bow! Now!_

I bend at the waist in a full ninety-degree bow immediately. My hair fell in brown curtains around my face as I said, "It is an honour, Lord Kuran, Lady Kuran." I didn't know what exactly was an honour – the fact that I was still alive, perhaps. Blood servants were often killed by higher-ranking vampires.

Kaname dipped his head. "I'm sure you've had a long journey here. Kaien will surely have explained the rules to you, so I will let you rest in your room until lessons begin." And with that, he swept away, taking his sister by the hand. Yuuki looked back at me, once, smiling brightly. It allayed a little of the fear coiled in my belly. _Maybe the Purebloods aren't so bad._

None of the other vampires moved. _Ah, no…this was still a big mistake._

I bowed again, but looked at them as I said, "My name is Kasumi Takemura. I hope that I will be worthy of joining the Night Class."

The blue-eyed blonde boy, the one with the wild hair, frowned. "Takemura? I don't remember that name."

_Of course you wouldn't. You'd only remember noble families' names, and I only ever was a servant._ But before I could say anything, Ichijou stepped in. "Hanabusa!" he chided. "Be polite!"

A girl with orange hair in bunches frowned. "Takuma, I don't remember the name either."

Ichijou looked at me briefly but I took a deep breath. _If I don't come clean, it'll just come down badly on both of us. On me, for letting people assume I am higher-ranked than I am. On him, for covering for me. _"I am no aristocrat; I was a servant to a noble family."

My voice faltered on the word 'noble'. I didn't consider the Kitagakis noble in any sense – they allowed their daughter to whore out the servants' blood. Or, _servant's_ blood. I had accepted the position because Chiyo had threatened my sisters. Threatened that they would have to offer their necks to strangers at every party until they were accidentally bitten by the wrong vampire, who either drained them completely and killed them, or turned them into a vampire. The latter had been my fate. The only reason I had left was Chiyo's mother. It was Lady Kitagaki's promise, that she would protect my sisters, that had given me the courage to leave. If she didn't keep them safe, I would kill her.

Every pair of eyebrows in the room had shot up at my words except mine and Takuma's. I was acutely uncomfortable under their gazes and wanted to squirm as my insides were doing. I was conscious of every nerve ending in my body. Finally, a girl with thick ash-blonde-brown hair spoke. "Are you a Level C, then?" A tall tanned boy shook his head at her forthrightness.

"I am. I am stabilised – there is no danger of my becoming a Level E." Drinking a Pureblood's blood had saved me, but I had hated every moment of it. I had only done it so that I didn't have a fit and bite my sisters.

The girl sniffed. "Good." And left. The tall boy departed shortly afterwards, along with the orange-haired girl and a sleepy boy with thick brown hair.

Hanabusa and Ichijou were left, and the silence stretched out. I swallowed and picked up my suitcase. "Do you know where my room –"

"Up the right-hand staircase, number eighteen," Hanabusa interrupted, scowling. _Why did I expect that they, nobles, wouldn't mind a _servant _amongst them? Why does this hurt so much? _I nodded quickly and ascended the stairs.

As I was about to pass through the doorway, I turned back. "Takuma?" I called.

He looked at me, eyebrows raised.

"Thank you."

He smiled and returned to his book.

* * *

I found my room and fell through the door, my bones suddenly registering their exhaustion. Dumping my suitcase by the wardrobe, I closed the door and collapsed across the four-poster bed. I had never had such a bed to myself before. I'd made Chiyo's four-poster bed a thousand times, but this, this lying on the bed, this unspoken permission to sleep on it, was completely foreign to me. I rolled the duvet cover between my fingers – cotton. A pair of pastel quilts was folded at the foot of the bed in case of cold spring frosts. White pillows were soft under my head as I just lay there. Stared wonderingly at the embroidered drapes above. Fought my exhaustion

I pulled off my shoes and tucked them under the bed before wriggling under the covers, pulling them up to my chin and closing my eyes. Afternoon sunlight lit the room as I fell into sleep.

My dreams were fragmented, an unholy mixture of people and images and unnamed emotions that I could never hope to understand.

_A black-haired figure stands against the roses at Cross Academy. Slim, curvaceous, impeccably dressed, raven curls. Apprehension settles on me once again, my old second skin. Chiyo Kitagaki._

_A girl's lips against my neck. Teeth _in_ my neck, blood dripping down towards my collar. A thumb wipes it away as I stumble against the pillars of the Kitagakis' ballroom._

_Amaya, my sister, beams at me as she shows me her cake, her beautifully frosted creation. The best cake I've ever seen a nine-year-old produce. And my favourite flower, a spray of wysteria, lies on top. I kiss her forehead._

_The Chairman's hand on my shoulder again makes me feel it's going to be alright. And then he leaves, and nerves are back, nipping at my gut, fluttering in my ribcage._

_Takuma's green eyes flicking to mine as I beg him in silence. He smiles away my thanks once again._

_And Zero. The scowling, black-clothed Guardian as he shows me through the door again. As he rolls his eyes, as his eyebrows lift. As he looks directly at me and I see the pain in his eyes._

_And I realise that his eyes are the colour of wysteria. Of my favourite flower. Of my childhood._

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**UGH. SORRY. BAD CHAPTER. UGH. I HAVE UST WITH THE KEYBOARD AND IT HATES ME *sobs* I'm sorry...review if you want (tell me what's bad. Please. I want to know!), or favourite/follow if you're crazy enough to like my writing ^-***

**Um, that's it, have a nice rest of the weekend!**

**~miyuki**


	3. Resolutions

**Oh God, I am such a klutz xD I was about to start writing this chapter when I spilled my coffee EVERYWHERE _ I knocked my bedside light over, which hit my coffee, which then spilled across my book, part of my bedsheet and all across the paper underneath my bedside table T_T Anne Frank's diary looks authentically old, most of my Japanese notes are airing across the sitting room, and I was so glad my own diary had a plastic over or it would have been deaded U_U**

**So, miyuki is an idiot, what didn't you already know? ^-^ I promised my buddy Caitlin that I would update this fic if she didn't stress too much about her English. So here I am, updating nearly a week later (sorry Caitlin!). She's good for me because she pesters me routinely to make me update U_U otherwise I'd be a lazy fucker and never update x'D**

**But yes. Go and chat to Caitlin, who is Chieko Namikaze on here, because even if she hasn't published any fics yet, she is a beautiful, funny, talented person who is passionate about her fandoms and is great fun to chat to. Get going!**

**^o^ So, enjoy the next chapter, guiz~**

**[ Oh yeah, I don't own VK, all that crap ^^ ]**

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"_Ne_, Takemura?" A female voice was muffled by the thick wooden door. I blinked, jolting from the light catnap that had followed my muddled dreams. "Takemura?"

I was about to answer when I heard a huffy exclamation and the door was flung wide open. The brusque girl with long ash-blonde hair stood in the doorway. Her eyes were narrowed, but softened slightly when she saw my dishevelled state – _oh God, _what_ does my hair look like?_ I pulled the covers up around me as if they could make up for the fact that I was still in a rumpled servant's dress.

"Hey, you should probably get up now," she said more softly. "Class starts in an hour, and Dorm President Kuran dislikes it when we are late."

"Um, okay," I replied nervously, trying to smooth my hair down.

I think she would have stood there until I got up if it hadn't been for the girl who'd spoken first, the girl with orange bunches. "Come on, Ruka, we should go," she chided absently.

The girl – obviously Ruka – nodded and left, closing the door behind her. I breathed out and pushed back the covers. The dress' blue skirt was crumpled from my afternoon siesta, my knee socks were falling about my ankles and my bodice was coming a little loose. I picked up my folded uniform and tentatively opened the door to the bathroom.

I very nearly fell over. _Oh my God…this is mine? This can't be mine! It can't be!_

Wonderingly, I stepped across the threshold onto white marble tiles. _Marble? The bathroom floor at home was wooden! _The room was spacious and airy. The sun waltzed through the frosted windows and intensified the bridal white of the fittings. I almost didn't want to use anything, it was so clean. To take my mind off the splendour of the room, I started to wonder who cleaned the dorms. _Do we have to clean them? I didn't bring any of my cleaning stuff…but I suppose we won't. Oh gosh, Kasumi, that was a stupid thought. They wouldn't make aristocrats' children clean their own bathrooms, would they? _I snorted to myself as I washed my hands in the sink's vast basin.

In terms of other fittings, there was an _ofuro_ with a pair of taps, a huge mirror over the sink that I was avoiding looking at and a shower. I immediately headed for the shower – at home, we always had a shower before getting in the _ofuro_ and I was already slightly homesick.

I lathered the shampoo into my hair, the lavender-scented bubbles reminding me of home as they slipped between the strands of dark brown hair. I watched the bubbles pour down the drain as I rinsed the suds from my body. _I feel slightly more human now_.

I only realised the irony of the thought when I was sitting in the _ofuro_, soaking in the hot water_._ _Oh, and you're so human right now, aren't you?_ I felt like crying as the steam rose around my face. I'd always taken baths with my little sisters. Miu, the youngest and cutest of us all at six, had always insisted that we drop flowers into the bath before we got in so that it 'smelled as beautiful as Mummy does!' Hotaru had always scoffed at that. She was two years older than Miu and reckoned that those two years meant she knew everything. She was always the one that splashed us in the bath, making Amaya, a timid and shy nine-year-old, squeak every time.

A chubby tear made a _plop_ sound as it hit the water's surface. _Dammit, I am not going to cry! I promised Amaya I wouldn't miss home too much! Remember how proud Miu was when she learned I was coming here?_

That brought me up short. Here I was, bathing in my self-pity and misery, when my sisters would give anything to be here. I was being selfish and moping. I bit my lip in a grimace. _I will not cry. I will be strong. I will be as strong as Miu and Hotaru and Amaya. I will not bring shame on my family by being cowardly!_

Ten minutes later, I was dressed in my school uniform. A slightly lopsided red bow on the shirt and a white blazer trimmed with black. Black socks reached halfway up my thighs and the white skirt was embarrassingly short. Ruka and the other girl could pull it off beautifully, but there was no way that I could. I managed to tug it down with difficulty.

When I glanced at my appearance, I hardly recognised myself. With a slight grimace, with a new uniform – I wasn't Kasumi any more. _Can I be scared now, Hotaru, Amaya? Miu? If I'm not me, can I be scared about my classes? Can I be scared about something I know you want more than anything else – going to school?_

_No. I cannot. Not when this is all you want. Not when I'm the only one that gets this chance. Not when I am a coward._

Half-heartedly, I debated what to do with my hair. Yesterday it had fallen around my shoulders and, more importantly, over the sides of my neck, where silver crescents overlapped and fought with each other for precedence. The silver crescents every blood servant had. In the end, I just left it down again. I was nowhere near ready to explain what I'd been to anyone.

Except possibly a boy who was in more pain now than I had ever been. Possibly a silver-haired, distant, cynical boy with eyes so full of emotion, so full of blood and pain.

Possibly a boy like Zero Kiryuu.

* * *

When I came into the entrance hall, the entire Night Class was already there. It seemed that nearly everyone wanted to look at the blushing girl who was late. A couple of girls giggled – aristocrats never flushed. That made me turn even redder. My face was the colour of the crimson roses that Amaya loved to decorate her cakes with so much.

_I will be strong for you, sister._

I descended the stairs and stood awkwardly at the edge of the room. I felt a few stares on me and fiddled with the fabric roses my cuff in embarrassment. I could feel the pulse in my cheeks. But strangely, since my new resolution in the bath, I wasn't really nervous any more. Those aristocrats – they were here because they had money, because their parents were nobles. I was here because my parents had given me a chance, and hell knew I was going to learn something before I failed the exams and got kicked out!

A hush fell as Kaname and Yuuki entered and walked gracefully down the steps. A girl by the door pulled them open, and the Purebloods were the first to walk out into the ruddy evening light. Everyone poured out of the dorms, but slowly, like honey. I found myself at the back, staring at Hanabusa and Takuma's bobbing blonde heads.

And there was a strange noise, just there at the edge of my hearing. I strained to hear it a little better. _What is that…it sounds like a bunch of girls screaming! _Worry started to flutter in my stomach. _There's someone yelling…God, what _is _that? They're still screaming! Are they okay? Is someone hurt? What's going on?_ I lengthened my stride and caught up with Takuma.

"What's going on? Is someone hurt? Why are there people screaming?" I asked urgently.

Hanabusa took one look at my concerned expression and burst into fits of laughter. I stared at him. Takuma was grinning too.

"What is it? How can you laugh if someone's hurt?" I was becoming indignant.

Hanabusa's laugh faded into a cocky grin. "The Day Class girls just can't resist our charm, pretty new girl." He winked at me.

I blushed again.

"Hanabusa!" Takuma nudged him with his elbow. "What Aidou _means_ to say is that the Day Class, especially the girls, find the Night Class very attractive. They queue up every evening at the gates to catch a glimpse of us and make rather a lot of noise. Kiryuu has the job of keeping them in order, but even he's finding it a little hard to manage without Yuuk-"

It was Hanabusa's turn to elbow Takuma. _Was he going to say Yuuki? But how…Kiryuu is a Guardian, isn't he? Why would a Pureblood princess be a Guardian? Wouldn't everyone think it too risky?_

There was a yank in my gut at the thought of Zero being put in danger. I frowned. What the _hell_ was that about?

Thankfully, Takuma distracted me by coughing and continuing, "Be grateful you weren't here on Valentine's Day. It was chaos."

Hanabusa pouted. "But the chocolate was great!"

We had reached the gates. Takuma sighed. "Brace yourself. Aidou is something of a playboy."

I frowned as the girls caught sight of Hanabusa waving and screamed even louder. _Oh God. Brilliant. _I raised my eyebrows and walked faster. _Away from the screaming girls, away from the screaming girls! _I heard a couple of exclamations – 'Who is she?' and 'I don't recognise her!' – as I speed-walked inelegantly towards the main building.

I caught up with Ruka and the orange-haired girl, who was sharing a parasol with the mahogany-haired boy. Ruka raised an eyebrow at me. "Don't tell me you're running from the fangirls already."

I smiled slightly. "They're so noisy!"

She laughed. "You haven't seen Valentine's Day yet."

_We seem to be getting along alright! What the _hell _were you worried about, Kasumi?_ "Takuma warned me about that."

"You seem to get along well with Takuma already," she observed.

_Okay, I was right to worry. _I clenched my left hand. "He seems like a nice guy." _Please tell me that's an acceptable answer. Please!_

"You were mouthing something at him when you first came in."

_Shit!_ "Um…"

"Don't worry, you're not the only one with a crush on him," she grinned.

"What?" I turned deep red. Again. "No, no! It's nothing like that!" I then realised that she wasn't serious – she was curious about our relationship but didn't want to probe too much. Saying something we both knew was untrue was her way of getting the truth out of me if I wanted to speak, and I respected her tact.

But not enough to give her the full truth. No, I was never that open with my heart or my secrets. "We…met before. When I was a servant. He came to a ball at the Kitagakis'. I just didn't want him to suddenly blurt it out in front of everyone." That was a shortened version of the story, but Ruka didn't need to know that.

"You told everyone anyway. What difference would it have made?"

_She is so forthright!_ "It would have seemed like I was hiding something if I'd waited for the truth to leak out." _And indeed I _am_ hiding something._

"Oh! I see."

And then we were at class.

The teachers thankfully didn't ask how much I didn't know but just gave me a textbook and exercise book. I had had rudimentary schooling, about equivalent to that of a fifteen-year-old. In succession, the maths, chemistry, ethics, literature and physics teachers managed to leave me floundering. At the end of the classes, I asked them for the lower years' textbooks. They each shot me an odd look before handing them over. I had a lot to catch up on.

* * *

The books were stacked up on my desk in my room. The clock registered six o'clock in the morning. I ignored the mountain of studying I should have been doing as I sat on the wide windowsill.

_How are you doing at home? Mother, are you still asleep or are you laying out Lady Kitagaki's dress? Are you ironing the paper, Father?_

I unlatched one of the windows. Pushed it fully open.

_Are you still snoring your baby snores, Miu?_

I gripped my laces with my hands, drew my knees up to my chest. Maybe if I pulled my legs close to me, I could also pull the memories back.

_Hotaru, are you already laying the fires? Don't forget to wash your hands afterwards, or Mother will scold you for putting smudges on your skirt._

My window had a beautiful view; it overlooked the dormitory gardens. The flowers seemed illuminated from within by the dawn.

_Amaya, sister, you should be sleeping, not mixing crêpe batter!_

The memories were too much. I couldn't hold them back. Couldn't stop them from filling my mind and body like tangible nuggets of history. I stood on the edge of the window frame. Poised to jump down into the garden. A breeze blew a rogue _sakura_ blossom across my face – it landed in my outstretched palm.

I decided that was a sign. Gripping the hem of my skirt, I jumped. The wind pulled my hair out behind me as I fell the three storeys to the ground, landing lightly. There were some definite advantages to vampirism.

It was even more beautiful down here than it had seemed from my window. My fingertips grazed the silken roses, the violet by the midnight, the scarlet by the ivory. I crouched to see the crocuses, thrusting from below the ground to show themselves in resplendent lilac and gold. I stretched up a hand for the cherry blossoms, their soft petals so thin they almost didn't exist. They were almost ethereal, almost a dream.

And then I looked down, at the scattered blossoms at my feet, at the soft candy floss-pink. They contrasted with the snaking green stems and sprigs of leaves of the wysteria that lay alongside the path. _Wysteria! It looks like home…just this one flower can take me straight back…why do I even call it home? Why? I hated it…but my family are there. Home is where the heart is, yes?_

I squatted on my heels and examined it – the Academy had put a wicker frame down and then trained the wysteria to grow along it, rather than up. It was beautiful, oh, so beautiful. _Maybe we could try this at home…we have so much wysteria, I'm sure we could manage this…_

My footfalls soft, I walked along the wysteria-lined paths for what felt like hours. I followed them wherever they took me, past a pond, a hidden courtyard, a high fence. I stopped by another grove of cherry trees and picked a spray of flowers. _Like I do every summer, every spring… _Twirled it in my fingers, the purple blossoms fluttering with their revolutions. _Like Miu does, her skirt flying out around her… _Their heady scent was the fragrance of the flowers below my window at home. The smell of Amaya's hair when I hugged her. _Everything I cherish in one blossom. My heart in the most beautiful of flowers._

I was so wrapped up in my nostalgic musings that the metallic tang only caught my palette when a chain clinked behind me and even though I couldn't see it, even though it wasn't touching me, I felt the gun's muzzle hovering behind my head.

"What are you doing?"

_That voice!_

I turned around. My eyes flickered from the flowers in my hand to the boy with eyes the same colour. Zero Kiryuu's gun was pointing directly between my eyes.

"Kasumi Takemura?"

* * *

**Ugh. Bad ending is so bad T_T Hope that partly made up for your English monologue, though, Keitorin-tan! Lub yuu, buddy ^-^ [ I'm sorry this is so late but there was a large delay in the proceedings when my umma found out about my accident with the coffee…we spent about half an hour cleaning it up ^-* ]**

**To everyone else, thank you so much for reading! ^^ Did it go okay? I'm kinda worried that Kasumi's change of heart is too sudden…and I'm so sorry if Ruka seems OOC. She's a bit hard to write but I actually love her character, so I'm desperate to get her into the story somehow ^^"**

**Oh, the cultural stuff. An ****_ofuro_**** is a Japanese bath. It's also ****_furo, _****and I'm pretty sure the honorific 'o' is a gender thing…in general, girls say ****_ofuro_****, boys say ****_furo_****. But you'll want to look that up ^^ Anyway, Kasumi has a shower and ****_then_**** a bath because with an ****_ofuro_****, you wash yourself before you get in. It's more a place to have a hot soak rather than to get clean (because you're already squeaky clean when you get in xD).**

**_Sakura_**** is the Japanese word for cherry blossom and has all the cultural connotations attached to it. The Japanese love cherry blossom a lot; the news tracks the 'cherry blossom front' during spring ^^"**

**You deserve sainting if you've read all the way to the end of this author's note, and you deserve more Oreo cookies than the world currently holds if you can be bothered to review. Thanks in advance if you do because AI LUB YUU 3**

**~miyuki**


	4. Saline

**Hey there, patient saint! Firstly, I have a HUGE apology to make. I'm the worst at updating…I'm so sorry, guys. If you have given up on this story, I don't blame you ****_at all_**** because I'm so bad at updating T_T My "excuse" is that I had exams, but they finished an embarrassing number of weeks ago and I still haven't updated…I'm so sorry, guys. I hereby send you magic cyber-cookies from England in apology *sparkles flying overhead as cookies teleport themselves***

**So, here's the next chapter. I'm so sorry it's been so long coming…you all need knighting for your perseverance (wink wink, see what I did there? -), and I still don't own ****_Vampire Knight _*****sob sob***

**OH MY GOD I ALMOST FORGOT. Slight trigger warning – suicidal thoughts. If you think this could trigger you to feel badly, to self-harm, to feel anything less than happy; ****_please don't read it. _****I know I'm being overly cautious but triggers come in many forms and I would hate to inadvertently hurt anyone. My inbox is always open to talk – please don't make yourself feel bad if you know it's a risk. ****_Please, honey._**

* * *

There's a funny thing about being in mortal peril (such as when you have a gun pointed directly between your eyes). It makes you terrifyingly aware of every nerve ending in your body. I could feel the soles of my feet in their boots, unsteady and wobbling dangerously on the gravel path. I could feel my legs, the way the cotton of the socks lay against my skin, the fluttering of my skirt in the early morning breeze. I could see my hair playing its innocent clapping games in the face of death. A clapping game like the ones Hotaru and Amaya used to play. _A sailor went to sea-sea-sea –_

A brown strand brushed across the muzzle of the gun.

_– to see what he could see-see-see._

A scared girl, lost amongst the bobbing waves of this new world. A half-snarl on a broken boy's face. _Is that what the sailor saw, Amaya? Is it?_

I could feel the wysteria in my hand. The stem was pressing a line against my palm, the blossoms tickling my fingers. I looked down at it then, at its petals. Memories wavering in the wind like a sailboat on the rough seas. I looked up then, like a sailor does at the sky, at the same shade of dusty floral lilac in Zero's eyes.

It occurred to me that this could be the last thing I'd see if I didn't explain myself.

_And there are worse things to see than your face, than that colour, before I die._

"I…"

Words fell away into the saline confusion and loss around me. I held up the blossom like a dying soldier waves a bloodied white handkerchief. "It reminds me of…"

_Of what? Of a home you left behind? Of a family you left behind? Of the _self _you left behind?_

"…of my sisters."

The most pathetic excuse. It was worse than the ones I'd come up with to explain the cuts in the crook of my elbow from bleeding into a glass for Purebloods to drink. Like Kiryuu would even care. He'd bloody _smirked_ when I was about to be sick with nerves. He'd scowled at me like I was Death himself when I'd knocked on the door. This boy _didn't care._

And then the gun's muzzle faltered.

My legs faltered.

My heart faltered.

My voice faltered and I made a half-stuttering noise in my throat. I don't even know what I was going to have said. My voice just coughed in my throat like sea spray against a cliff.

Zero's eyebrows tightened. "What?"

The venom was less than when the gun had been behind my head and he'd asked me my name. Or maybe I was just numb beyond caring. Maybe I was just sailing away from Cross Academy and so the blows hurt less. My mind was becoming detached from my body and I no longer cared what I said. No longer cared what I told this boy. It didn't matter how I explained myself, so long as I did so that I could continue my sailing. So I tried –

"I've never been away from my family before. I've never been to school before. I've never met other vampires as equals before. I've never had to _hide_ so much before. I've never been so _scared_ before!"

– and then there was a rock in my throat like the boulders you find in the sea and I couldn't say anything else and the world turned into an inky waterscape as my eyes stung. The blossom fell from my fingers and blended into the silver of the path.

The gun was blending into Zero's hair when I looked up. The moving barrel blurred into his hair, both the same shade of silver. There was a sharp _click_ as the safety was flicked off. There was a metallic shimmer as the chain coiled in his pocket against the gun.

_He's put it away._

_It's _away_._

But the visceral fear hadn't left my gut. Everything was still liquid and loose and I didn't know what to do any more.

And then I realised then that I hadn't really cared all that much whether the bullet had entered my brain or not. There wasn't a huge sense of relief like the one you'd expect when your mortal peril dissipates. There was almost a surge of disappointment – I'd have to do this again. I'd have to live another day. I'd have to keep going. I'd have to stay at this school. I'd have to continue to explain myself to him; I mean, who's satisfied with an explanation like that?

And yet I couldn't think of anything coherent except a whisper. "I'm _scared_."

A moment of absolute silence. A cough. Zero laid a hand on my shoulder gently.

I started. Explosively. The weight was tiny – he was holding back, barely touching me – but the contact was searing like the tears forming in my eyes but hot, blood. Not cold, not saline. His thumb was next to my collarbone and I half-expected it to burn and scar.

"You shouldn't have to be scared," he said. Voice low. "The vampire world is more stable after Rido's death."

Tears were still making me irrational, though, in that way that they do. When the blood rushes through your veins like the salt water from your eyes and you just want to get everything out and wash it all away so that you can start to clean the wounds and you blurt things out that you shouldn't ever have said.

Things like, "Purebloods could kill me _right now_ for my scars. In the most unpleasant of ways. I'm scared of their torture chambers, of the things they do to those they call infidels."

You do things like jerking your infidel's shoulders so that your only comforter's hand falls. Things like pushing the hair back from your neck and moving your head so that each and every silver crescent on your neck is visible. You pull the top button of your shirt open and expose your collarbones. Expose more scars. Push up one sleeve to show the lines in the crook of your elbow.

Zero's eyes widened. His eyebrows disappeared into his hair and his lips parted slightly.

"_This_ is what it means to be a blood servant. My mistress, Chiyo…she didn't deserve a drop of the noble blood in her veins. She wanted to become more popular with the other young vampires. She felt she had to give them what they wanted. And you'll know what vampires crave more than anything – blood from a human. Blood that hasn't come from tablets mixed with water.

"And she had a ready supply of that. If you pinch someone's pressure points, if you threaten my sisters – I'll do whatever you want. So I gave blood to her guests. Boys, girls, aristocrats, Purebloods."

I had had much more – aha, _intimate_ encounters with a large section of the young vampire nobility than most could even dream of. Zero's expression was closing off now, like a rock pool at high tide, his emotions retreating into himself.

And yet. You could still see the pain in his eyes and his mouth.

And yet. I still didn't care. Tears were burning my veins and I just wanted to _lash out._

"You get bitten directly by the aristocrats – someone's face so close to you that they could be kissing you. And instead they're biting you. Taking what you never wanted to give. I know they could taste it. My hatred, my fear. I know they did it anyway."

And then something snapped in him and there was a _slack _sound as the chain snapped open again and there was a barrel between my eyes again. A jerk and the cold steel was pressing into my skin. The muzzle directly against my face. And I didn't care. I'd let myself die.

"Go on then. Shoot me. See if it hurts at all."

He snarled at me then, the harsh, animal sound vibrating around his throat. White teeth flashed as the noise escaped like a storm's thunder. And I saw white canines. White _fangs._

_Zero is a _vampire?

A snarling vampire broken all over with a gun. His hand trembled a moment. I saw the indecision in his eyes and was about to spit at him – goddammit, just _shoot _me!– when he jerked the gun up and fired the bullet at the sky.

He stepped back, chest heaving, lips still curved back over his teeth. "Don't you _ever _lecture me on taking blood again, or that bullet will be in your head and not the sky."

He turned on his heel and I caught a glimpse of the shimmer in his eyes.

He paused before leaving, his back to me.

"I know more about taking blood than you care to know. I know about taking blood from someone you love. Don't presume to lecture me."

There was a silvery tinkle, and the bullet fell at my feet.

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**Pfff, I'm sorry for all the crappy imagery in this. And the crappy ending omfg _ there's a reason I'm not a poet =^-^=**

**I'm sorry if Zero is OOC – he is so fricking ****_difficult _****to write! If you have any tips, I would absolutely love to hear them, so please tell me! Goddammit, these hot guys and their resistance to being written easily T_T**

**Again, thanks for reading!**

**~miyuki**


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